Hey, I played a coupla years with Uni Footy club, plus a few years Uni Cricket club & even captained their 4ths as a senior player....can I get a cabinet post ?

Mr I-really-hate-the-French

Peace in the holy land ? S. Spade	Dear Maggie why can't we just love each other - Lord we don't need another mountain...there are mountains & hill-sides enough to climb....etc etc......I respect your right to be a war mongering, imperial running dog of a Collingwood supporter if you respect my right to be a pinko, soft cock Little River band fan peacenik...... Shack involved 2 days of sitting inside listening to the hail on the roof......I love a sunburnt country Jester thought
Typical Thanks for your fine paper's timely report on the farcical public transport system. The public transport system in this state is totally f$#@&%k. Oliver Kromble West Eastwick	Saddam tried to kill my papa Amazing...George hides it so well, too - he's so modest, I mean - here he is with brains the size of a planet & the pieces of paper to prove it, but because he's a low-key kind of guy, he maintains this persona whereby he looks just like a ex-drug addicted, womanising, born-again, draft dodging, bed wetter ( "Saddam tried to kill my papa") who has never had an original idea in his head, but can just manage to read an auto-cue to expouse other peoples ideas, who cheated his way to power & has the dead eyes of a creature normally seen at the end of a fishing line or in an advert for impotence cream......I'm with ya, George - hey, let's just cut the crap & start bombing the French next.... Mr I'm impressed
	Masters of War What has happened to the goverment's promise not to engage in a nuclear conflict? Why is the use of the WMD depleted uranium permitted by countries in the so called 'alliance against terrorism' ? What is going on here ? What is this madness ? Can we trust the clowns that are our world leaders pretend in our struggle ? Reg Krumpf North Westwick.
title guffle NAME	What's a z grade doco? Does it have moustache?

PRODUCT DIVISION.

BUY NOW - everything for sale ....

HEY MOOK TO PUNISH FANS AND POKE EYES There are vaque rumors currently circulating of a gig. Bring cash.	Practice time - man belts out a tune.
ROCK STARS PUNISH MANAGER X	BAND PUNISHES BASS PLAYER X
ROBBER SHOWS TRUE COLOURS POLICE Anyone with information is asked to call Hobart CIB or Crime Stoppers on 1800 005 55. SOURCE : X	The Reserves get Jeffed. TODAY'S LEGENDS OF AFL FOOTBALL is not to be purchased at WHAMMO under any circumstances due to ongoing litigation by Mookinc lawyers.
Kim gets mocked yet again. Kim, who is believed to be the former leader of an Major Australian Political Faction, was reportedly mocked. More mockery ...	Separated at birth. Despite persistent rumors of vegetarianism both these punters like the odd steak washed down with a bottle of red wine. Can you sort out the bollocks from the botox ?

Photography IMMIGRATION SYSTEM Photo by The Hon. P.Ruddock Minister's Department of Defence. COMING SOON Ministers Defending Unjust Immigration Systems An Historical Archive by A. C. Amera "I would stress that I am guilty of having been obedient, having subordinated myself to my official duties" more photography ....	More Guns The world needs more guns and big business is clamoring for the spoils. Good luck to those prudent investors who bought armament stocks. God is on your side. Cyber Terrorism The west has developed the technology to replicate a biological virus via digital codes. It is hoped that his will be of benifit in the war against terrorism. 'Hmmmm ..., beats me', said Mrs Olive Westchester of Kromble Heights in Dorchester.
WWW.HEYMOOK.COM fights child porn!! Mookinc's premier website WWW.HEYMOOK.COM has vowed to fight online pornography. At noon today Mookinc President Mr Stuart Cooby said 'the practice of MOUSETRAPPING as used by our rivals is not on our books'. More on the WWW ....	Shagger's Back?
You'll enjoy this article by Terry Jones. published in the Guardian , UK, on Sat. Jan 25 2003. I'm losing patience with My Neighbours, Mr Bush I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. "Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street." Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited	Shipping Manure? Some exciting Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship. It was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T," which came down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term!

Top Ideas • Online Gambling • Web Hosting • Debt Consolidation • Casinos • Sportsbooks • Wagering • Poker • Credit Card Debts • Roulette • Betting • Data Recovery • Moving • Slots • Incorporation • Term Life Insurance • Merchant Accounts • Debt Reduction • Black Jack • Home Equity Loans • Commodities Online Gambling Casinos, Sportsbooks, Wagering, Poker, Roulette, Betting, Slots, Black Jack, Baccarat, Craps Finances Debt Consolidation, Credit Card Debts, Merchant Accounts, Debt Reduction, Home Equity Loans, Commodities, Debt, Bad Credit, Insurance, Futures Business Incorporation, Merchant Accounts, Business Opportunities, Printers, Home Businesses, Marketing, Packaging, Credit Cards, Franchise, Fundraising Health Viagra, Dental Insurance, Health Insurance, HGH, Contact Lenses, Weight Loss, Diets, Skin Care, Hair Loss, Vitamins Computers Web Hosting, Data Recovery, LCD, Help Desk, Shrink Wrap, Ink Cartridge, Domain Names, Toner, Ink Jet, Security Internet Web Hosting, Domain Hosting, Web Site Promotions, Affiliate Programs, Ecommerce, Domain Names, Internet Businesses, Advertising, Website Design, Webmasters Home Moving, Home Equity Loans, Mortgages, Relocation, Home Improvement, Mattress, Rugs, Construction, Real Estate, House Real Estate Moving, Home Equity Loans, Mortgages, Home Loans, Refinance, Office, House, Leasing, Home Buying, Apartment Insurance Term Life Insurance, Car Insurance, Health Insurance, Travel Insurance, Home Insurance, Business Insurance, Cleaning Marketing Internet Advertising, Affiliate Programs, Mailing Lists, Lead, Advertising, Telemarketing, Promotions, Press Releases, Traffic, Direct Mail Online Shopping Contact Lenses, Shopping Carts, Cigars, Flowers, Promotional Products, Labels, Office Supplies, Shades, Fragrance, Cigarettes Autos Car Insurance, Auto Loans, Safety, New Cars, Car Rentals, Used Cars, RV, Trucks, SUVs, Auto Lease	Daryl Rimple Plumbing A top job every time. Mates rates. No worries. Satisfaction for all. 24 hour service. Free Quotes. All warranties. Expert opinions. Professional attitude. Smiles all round. Phone 999 999 999 anytime. Des Perret Financial Advisor Phone 666 666 666 anytime.
HEY MOOK ?	WORRIED? Worry no more - WWIII - OUT SOON !
AEROPLANE RECORDS
THE VICTOR DAISY CUTTER 2003 The MOTHER of all Mowers. Lawn carpetted with weeds ? Bunker bust em' with the Daisy Cutter 2003! Painted yellow because it's dangerous. for more information phone 1080

The values you seek are worthless to us. Limited time ..... Conditions Apply. Witch Bank ? Separated at birth. One of these famous musicians is considered a genius. The other has developed a dislike for onstage banter from upstarts. Can you sort out the wheat from the chaff?

HEY MOOK Next Appearance [Sorry - canned due recording commitments.

LARF DIVISION

	MOOKEMON Follow the adventures of the Mooks as they enter the world of Rock and Roll. Latest Episode MOOKEMON # 33 in which a mook pines.
Enter the SPOT THE CHUMP comp. Send answers to XXX CLUES : One digs INXS. Some let a puppet do their talking. One is slightly senior. The other is terribly senior.
BEATLES v. STONES Beatles / Stones fans rejoice - here's your chance to relive the hysteria of 1964, when the world's most popular rock group visited Australia's shores. Footage of the Fab Four's visit includes the group's arrival at Essendon Airport and their appearance on the balcony of the Melbourne Hotel in front of a screaming crowd of 200,000 fans. Footage of the Festival Hall concert will complete the program. The Beatles Downunder is on tomorrow and Saturday [JUNE 13th 2003], at 8pm at the Paramount Cinema Club, 43 Melville Rd, Brunswick West. Tickets are $24/18 plus booking fee on 9386 7390 and are also available at the door. For those who still believe that The Stones rule the roost as the best band ever please note the words of Muddy Waters "The boys wanted to play the blues real bad, and they did." more beatles	THE MOTHS a.k.a. FOUR DSL in various guises. Live August 13th 2003.
The new Hey Mook cd - crash into you - is available now. Chiltone Records are going global and are planning to set up a distribution point in none other than the fine city of San Francisco. Hey Mook's "crash into you" will retail for $12.00 (post paid for mail orders) back in the U.S.A. Stay tuned. Ad Campaign colonialisation of America has already commenced with the arrival of our foreign agent in the states.

USELESS INFORMATION

Did you know ......... It is impossible to lick your elbow. A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out. A shrimp's heart is in their head. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ). It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas. On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Rats and horses can't vomit. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. if you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders. Most lipstick contains fish scales. Cat's urine glows under a black-light. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

- Obituaries
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BEATLE ... X
	He died fearlessly One thought in mind Love one another.
you were the light that shone in the sky all those years ago ...
X

COMING SOON

Killed by the mix
Stories of Hobart's Independent Music Scene

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Readers Digestive and Businesses Review Weakly
Present
A bridge over troubled waters
( The MOOK management SAGA ]
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Kellogs present.
Mr APM gets even.

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